Love Awe Wonder…

Living Life Filled with Love, Awe and Wonder


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Time

Time…

Minutes…60 seconds of time.
What fills yours?

Hours…filled with 60 minutes.
How do you spend them?

Days… 24 hours of life to be lived.
What do you do with yours?

Weeks… 7 days to embrace.
How many do you enjoy?

Months… Filled with weeks.
Are you present to each new season?

Years…12 more months to go.
Do you live yours to their fullest?

Life… Only one to be lived.
Do you live every second in the Now?

Aweider
Copyright 1.9.14

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The Power of “I’m Sorry”

39 days ago the journey of my dads illness began. Pneumonia was the major cause of this hospitalization which effected his already severely clogged heart value.

Weeks in the hospital with a Hospice diagnosis turned into weeks in rehab with a “pre hospice” diagnosis. Watching my dads physical roller coaster ride put me personally on my own emotional and physical ride!

Although dads pneumonia has cleared his heart remains the same, weak. His spirit fluctuates, along with his strength. All this while my mother patiently waits with dementia for his return home.

Well, he is heading home Sunday to be with mom. That decision was made after a roller coaster ride of several different options. The care team, along with family felt at least for now, that was the best decision. There has been a lot of conflict, differences of opinions, stress, burnout, and emotional breakdowns by family members (the latter sit on my plate).
And with that said there have been a lot of “I’m sorry”…. Thankfully our family knows how to Love and forgive…

I am thankful for those words “I’m sorry”, but each time a conflict or ugly words happen it chips away at my soul. For me, my goal is to just love and personally grow stronger and healthier from family differences.

It’s been an emotional roller coaster ride on many levels for all of us. I personally realized I have already started the morning process for both my parents failing health.

So I am thankful when I hear or read the words “I’m sorry”… With the unknown journey still ahead and the amount of time that is needed both physically and emotionally to care for elderly parents… Conflict, and disagreements are the last thing that should ever take place in a care taking situation. Making a conscious effort to love and embrace each other should be a priority during difficult times. Family coming together and caring for parents in their final years is truly the only thing that matters…

“I’m sorry” that it has been anything but Love…

In the end it’s family that truly matters…

In Love with family
In Awe of “I’m Sorry”
In Wonder of when…

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Is That so Hard?

Seeing eye to eye…
Is that so hard?
Why can some,
while others just don’t
see eye to eye?
Respect…
Is that so hard?
Attacking ones character
That’s called a bully!
Unconditional love…
Is that so hard?
Accepting each others differences
from a place called Love..
Caring about others
no matter the circumstances…
Anger is ugly
Bulling others is even uglier…
Peace, love, and acceptance,
turns darkness into light…
Is that so hard?

Aweider
Copyright 1.6.14


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Seeing Beyond….

Seeing beyond what is right in front of you can be a challenge. I am finding being “present” to today has caught me off guard. My present has become overwhelming due to several different personal situations.

I am beginning to realize my parents “sunset” years has blinded me to truly seeing and enjoying my own daily sunsets… Other life unjust circumstances have me angry because of the injustice in the NY state system. I’m feeling an anger I am becoming overwhelmed with. Almost a morning process that perhaps I must go through. A personal growth process in order to come out stronger and more whole… And as I just wrote those words “more whole ” I wondered why I just had to question my own “wholeness”… Something that makes me say “hmmm”…

There is a lot rumbling inside of me lately…. Something’s I have control over and other situations I feel a lost of control. I realized this morning a week of the new year has past and it was taken for granted. I have been consumed with what is right in front of me… Situations out of my control!

I began to wonder this morning how do I take my control back and “see beyond” what is right in front of me”?

Everyone has their own answers… Prayer, meditation, working out, letting go and so on… But the truth is I have to find my own personal path, perhaps with some or all the above included. But more importantly, I am searching for what feels authentic to me…
Searching. seeking and finding “Seeing Beyond” has me in wonder this morning…

(this picture was in Vail Co.. One of the most breathtaking experiences in my life!)
In awe of wonder!

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Peace Within Reach…

I know the answer is within reach…
There is Peace to be found,
Love all around.
Yet, sometimes I feel lost
And then found…
I know there is Peace up ahead
But sometimes,
I just want to stay in bed…
It’s my head that makes all these sounds,
Not wanting to look back
or even turn around!
I know there is Peace just around
the next corner
it will be found.
Somedays,
I just want to hide
and find that little girl
who used to live inside.
The days turned into years
The years flew by
Without even saying
a sweet goodbye…
The time traveled on,
Before I knew… the years were gone.
I know there is Love that abounds
Finding Peace within,
has such a nice sound.
The pressures of life
Somedays are filled with strife
I know there is Peace within reach
It is up to me to hold on tight
Like an unwanted leach.
Never letting go…
Knowing what I know
It’s up to me to grab the Peace
Keeping it in my sight
Day and night…
There is Peace within reach
I am thankful for what I know…
For what sits in front of me
is
My Peace within reach….

Aweider
Copyright 1.4.14

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I Take a Stand!

Some take pills,
I take a stand.
A pen and paper
will do…
My iPhone is my drug of choice.
I write instead of taking meds.
Like pills sometimes writing doesn’t totally make the pain go away…
For me, it’s a start!
Some take pills
I take a stand,
I write…

Aweider
Copyright 1.3.14

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Flying Low…

Flying under the radar came to mind this morning as I woke up. After spending over eight hours preparing my office for my dads arrival, I realized my life is about to change forever.

Emotionally this past month has taken a huge toll on me for several reason. Some I won’t share on this blog, others obvious! Watching parents become vulnerable and frightened is heart breaking. The stress of all that needs to take place is overwhelming. The lack of others understanding can be frustrating at times. And although I have time, more importantly I make time for those who once took care of me. Would I prefer another option? Absolutely! Is that even a choice right now? Absolutely Not!

So, for the next few weeks I maybe flying low, “under the radar” trying to figure this whole situation out…
The unknown of the uncertainty of two parents with two totally different needs in two different locations is the challenge… And although there are care givers to help part of the day, the reality of what is happening is emotionally draining.

2014 will be quite a year, anticipating many unchartered territories. I am preparing for life lessons I never thought I’d have to learn. But here I am… a new chapter, new tex, new flight plan… Flying Low for awhile figuring out the view below!

Loving to love… Standing still in awe…
Living in wonder…
(Parent… child… standing next to each other… a life lesson)

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