The overwhelming feeling of being consumed has taken over lately! I have been consumed with decisions for elderly parents. Consumed with my own personal life, or shall I say the lack of how I should be living my life! Consumed by technology and keeping up with all the extra nonsense of the amount of time it requires! And consumed with my own amount of overload and not being able to separate how quickly life seems to be passing me by and enjoying my life because of being so dam consumed!
So now what? My love, awe and wonder journey has been on hold, at least the book portion for over a year. The lessons of life continue to consume my thoughts… Watching, wondering and worrying about aging parents future and how to gently get them into the safest living environment is a huge challenge! Knowing my own mental health has been at risk lately because of being consumed… Doctors, caretakers, lawyer, bills and paperwork consumes me daily! Not to mention plain old worry!
I worry about my parents and how they will feel when they are moved… Parents that gave their children so much more than they ever had, including unconditional love. A childhood filled with wonderful memories, the best gift ever! And now
It’s the children’s turn to make tuff decisions. Seeing the situation daily has consumed my life… I’m exhausted, burned out emotionally! All, a journey to learn, grow and teach from…
As I continue to wake up in the early morning hours worrying and wondering what to do next… I write to calm my soul… Some people meditate, do yoga and such, I write…
In the stillness of the night…
In its darkness,
Questions are asked,
Worries are wondered
Thoughts are consumed.
Nighttime has a stillness
that lingers till morning…
More wonders are worried…
Consumed by thoughts,
In the stillness of the night.
April 25, 2014 at 4:54 pm
You need to be nourished. You need some silly. You need to sit and walk beside a girlfriend, one who’ll nourish you, give you some silly. Come to CT, GF! In the meantime remember to put your oxygen mask on, at all, let alone ”first.” But I must also say that your writing is powerful through this/these time(s).
April 29, 2014 at 8:57 pm
Thanks for sharing this personal post with your readers and it’s nice to know there are other people out there struggling in the same way when it comes to the difficult decisions and obstacles that arise with aging parents (although I am sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time!). I am constantly looking for books and forums that share personal stories and give advice. I thought I would recommend to you a fantastic book I just read by a couple who has over 30 years of experience in elder care called, “Voice of Experience: Stories About Health Care and the Elderly” (http://www.voiceofexperiencebrody.com/)
The book offers case studies, suggestions and shares similar experiences that the reader can relate to. I really feel this book is a support group in book form. I feel everyone dealing with this situation can really learn how to provide the best care for people they love as they age after reading this or at least feel like they have the tools and knowledge to plan out care properly (without being overwhelmed!!) I hope you and your readers will check it out. Good luck to you!