Although I lost my brother 28 years ago and a few other close family members there’s something about loosing a parent!

After talking with my sister last night, she commented “you just can’t wrap your brain around it”. I couldn’t agree more. The finality of the death of a parent is so mind boggling. Which makes me wonder about people who lost a parent at a young age. I can’t even imagine…

My 90 year old dad lives with me now, a gift, a blessing, an honor to have him in my home… Being a quiet man I wonder often what he must be feeling. I haven’t seen any emotion from him yet. Perhaps being the dad he feels he needs to be strong for me, one of his Favorite daughters.

I find memories of moments in time flash through my mind daily. Those wonderful childhood memories I miss so much. I know death is part of life, but it’s the part of life that really sucks! I watch and wonder about my dad as I tuck him in every night with a kiss goodnight. Honored and extremely thankful for this time together… But the truth is my heart breaks knowing his pain and the loneliness of missing his wife of 63 years…

There is nothing I can do to take his pain away, except Love him. I wonder more about life lately because of loosing my mom. Life that must be lived and enjoyed to the fullest….

I’m in a new normal again…
Which makes me wonder,
what is normal anyways?
The standard of normal is all relative to each individual… The passing of an elderly parent is “normal”. Grieving is normal, wondering about death has to be normal too…

I continue to wonder about the meaning of life and death. What its purpose is… And how to live life to its fullest during this time in my life…

And still, I can’t help but Wonder about Death…

In awe of life…