Love Awe Wonder…

Living Life Filled with Love, Awe and Wonder


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A Different Kind of Beautiful…

 
I heard the words “a different kind of beautiful” last night and for some reason those five words put me in a state of wonder…I couldn’t help but wonder about the beauty that surrounds us and the different perception others see. 

“They say” beauty is in the eye of the beholder…  So true…  Although, beautiful is something we see with our eyes and is recieved by our consciousness, True Beauty lives in our hearts and is embraced by our souls no matter how beautiful someone may think something  is or isn’t…

“A different kind of beautiful”…

Living life filled with Love, awe and wonder ❤️


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How Much is Enough?

How much is enough? A question my dad would ask… He would laugh and say           “how much is enough anyway?” I remember it well, wondering the answer… How much is truly enough? 

Recently “enough” continues to come up. Wondering about myself, and where I am in life, I’ve heard these three little words over and over… “You are enough” 

A conformation of being still and knowing “I am enough” in all areas of my life! There have been doubts and struggles along the way, wondering about personal growth, accomplishments, and my own self image.  The message of “I am enough” has come through loud and clear recently.  A moment of accepting my life, the stage I am in and the season of wonder where life went, has been all too real.  Watching family pass, wondering about the existence of my life’s purpose and realizing the “next generation” is several generations ago… And all while knowing, no matter the wondering,  it’s all been enough! 

Life and its lessons, no matter the challenge, personal growth is its sweetest gift… When in doubt, remember this…    “You are enough!”   

Living life filled with Love, Awe and Wonder…


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On the Other Side…

I talk, you listen.

I cry, you wipe my tears. 

I sit quietly, you hear my every thought.

I wonder, you comfort me. 

I miss you, you miss me too.

I hold onto my memories, you smile. 

I smile back…                                   

I am here, you are there.                  

I feel your presence,          

you know you are loved, 

On the other side…                                               

Aweider 12.18.15

                                                        


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Miracles 

I started wondering about miracles yesterday… This time of year you can’t help but wonder… And certainly miracles are all part of the Christmas Season.

What if we truly embraced everything around us as it is, a miracle. Imagine the awe and gratitude we would feel.

As a simple tear rolled down my cheek yesterday, after a brief moment of missing my father, I looked in the mirror and realized my tear was a miracle. It made me smile. A moment of realiztion of just how miraculous life really is!

Both life and death miracles…       Breathing in and breathing out miracles… Expressing emotions, miracles…                This Christmas Season a miracle…             My life and all my blessings a miracle…

So as you are reading this blog, take a moment and count the miracles in your life today… I’ll bet you will realize everything that surrounds you is a miracle!

Living life filled with Love, Awe and Wonder❤️


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Uncertainties…

“The uncertainties, the ups and downs, the knowledge of the inevitable loss, seeing a beloved father suffer, and the total lack of control make this journey so hard. God won’t give you more than you can handle – lean on Him. Love ya.” 

A  Tex I recieved from a dear friend last night summed up exactly how I’ve been feeling this week… The uncertainties of the inevitable loss and all the ups and downs that come with the emotions that surround this journey is difficult. The reality is this is the fifth time we have been on this similar journey. Hospitals, rehabs, and even hospice all for continued “hope” and yet decline of my dads quality of life… 

Life is a precious gift given to all of us.

My gift… my father who has always been there for me and has loved me unconditionally. A piece of my heart is torn more and more each time as his aging journey continues. 

Today he is moved again to a rehab center, same place, same time of year except without his beloved wife by his side… Which makes me wonder… Does he still have that same desire to live? 

What will tomorrow hold? Uncertainty is inevitable for everyone that’s a given, but the uncertainty of an elderly parent tears at ones heart continually… 

I feel Gods grace and love on this journey with my father.

I AM Forever grateful for their Love❤️

Big George ❤️ Little George   


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Nothing Good…

I try to make an effort to see the good in all situations. But if I’m to be honest, the aging process has pushed me to my limit of seeing the “good” in everything…

 I have found it very difficult to watch my parents age.  It’s been a year since my mother thankfully passed in her sleep (a very “good” thing) and now my dad is back in the hospital. After getting him settled in his new living environment he has had a set back. Like his past setbacks anything is possible. The roller coaster ride of emotions for all, his confusion and the unknown of his condition puts us back to square one. 

I find nothing good about watching my father in this season of life.  Yes, I still have time with him and yes I can visit and see him as often as I’d like… But to watch your hero deteriorate in front of your eyes is so painful. 

I count my blessings everyday and I am so thankful for my years with such an incredible father… I pray Gods grace over him and if I had that one wish it would be to turn back time…

For now, I continue to dig deep for strength knowing what the inevitable future holds… 

He is and will always be the best dad… Love ❤️ you 

 In love, awe and constant wondering…


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Gratitude 

I can’t help but wonder about all the moments in my life when I wasn’t grateful for the present moment given to me…. 

Last night I was asked to share a word that came to mind about my experience of the evening, without hesitation the word Grateful came to mind… A peace and contentment fell over me knowing I was extremely grateful for the women who  were sharing their dreams and passion with others. And this morning, when I witnessed frustration from a loved one, I stopped and thought of all my own wasted time and energy of all the moments I let slip by that I wasn’t grateful for.

 I sit writing this blog from a grateful heart…. All that I have been through and the unknown of the road ahead… at this moment in time, I am basking in the gratefulness before me. 

I am so very grateful.

In love, awe and wonder today and always! 

 


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Family

Being on my back for several days now and knowing I have the same back issues that both my siblings have had , makes me wonder about family. 

We are at an age and stage in life that sometimes family seems to become further apart.  No fault of our own,  just location and circumstances.  As our children have their own family nucleus and our parents pass on, the family dynamic from our own childhood has changed dramatically. And  in life, there is a season for everything.

  
A year ago my sister married her partner. Something a number of years ago would have never happened and if I am  to be honest I’m not sure how I may have felt….  Thankfully today, knowing my truth and what is important in life and family I’m overjoyed with the memory of an incredible weekend that brought our family together after our mothers passing unexpectedly. It was my sisters wedding, a time of love and connection for all who were apart of her celebration.  A beautiful memory of two souls joining together as one in celabration… I do Love my memories… And for me, memories are a very special gift. Life and all its “stuff” we accumulate will wither away… But memories will last a lifetime! 

So as I continue to wonder about life, my past and the wonderful memories of family… One family memory I will always cherish is my sisters beautiful wedding…. Mb and Elke thank you for the wonderful family memory… It was fantastic! 

Happy Anniversay ladies ❤️

  
Living life filled with Love, awe and wonder❤️


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It’s a Beautiful Glass…

There is such a beautiful world out there. Everywhere you turn there are profound messages. 

This morning my heart is filled with Joy which is overflowing… People touch my heart in a way that keeps me wondering…. Wondering why we would ever be negative… Wondering why love doesn’t abound 24/7… Wondering why we tend to sweat the small stuff, and wondering why we just don’t always  love and accept others…. 

Finding that place of joy can be work and a daily challenge for me. But I’m feeling such an enormous peace within my soul after hearing a post on FB this morning… (Probably a combination of several postings) but this one hit home! A grandfather who just lost his wife of 65 years referred to her as “she just changed her residence to Heaven.”  His ability to see life as a glass half full is a gift and as he told his grandson “it’s a beautiful glass” brought me to tears… 

Life and all its glory,  weaving us in and out up and down to choose how we see and live each and everyday… No matter what your glass may look like today, please remember it is always…

“A beautiful glass!”

  
Living life filled with Love, Awe and Wonder❤️