Love Awe Wonder…

Living Life Filled with Love, Awe and Wonder

Category Archives: Change


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2019

Not sure how I got here but the reality is it’s “the future”

Last year when we rang in 2018, I couldn’t help but wonder how close we were to the year 2020. There were years when I was a kid and we would only dream about what the future would look like, the year 2020 was the future. And here we are heading into 2019…

For me it’s bitter sweet, I’m thankful for all my blessings, while missing all my loved ones who are gone. Thankful for all my memories, yet missing all those wonderful times… Thankful for my health, but wondering what the aging process will continue to look like…

A lot of wondering about the future, and that future is my present… 2019, for me sounds scary, a future year in the present… We have seen lots of change over the past 50 years, I guess like all the generations before us.

For me change doesn’t seem to get any easier, aging continues to creep up at a pace I’d prefer not to acknowledge.

Not sure how I got here, especially “into the future” so quickly. If only I could turn back time, and know what I know now… I can’t help but wonder how different life would have been.

The future has arrived, whether I like it or not!


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How Much is Enough?

How much is enough? A question my dad would ask… He would laugh and say           “how much is enough anyway?” I remember it well, wondering the answer… How much is truly enough? 

Recently “enough” continues to come up. Wondering about myself, and where I am in life, I’ve heard these three little words over and over… “You are enough” 

A conformation of being still and knowing “I am enough” in all areas of my life! There have been doubts and struggles along the way, wondering about personal growth, accomplishments, and my own self image.  The message of “I am enough” has come through loud and clear recently.  A moment of accepting my life, the stage I am in and the season of wonder where life went, has been all too real.  Watching family pass, wondering about the existence of my life’s purpose and realizing the “next generation” is several generations ago… And all while knowing, no matter the wondering,  it’s all been enough! 

Life and its lessons, no matter the challenge, personal growth is its sweetest gift… When in doubt, remember this…    “You are enough!”   

Living life filled with Love, Awe and Wonder…


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What Do You Walk In?

Shoes…

I got thinking about my mom this morning and all the roles she played in her lifetime. From mother to School Nurse… And then I wondered about the shoes she wore and thought of my own…

I have a closet filled with too many shoes, some I rarely wear, if ever! Everything from several pairs of sneakers to very fancy high healed “dress up” shoes… And of course everything in between! Each pair of shoes represents my mood, and what my feeling for the day may be… I used to love wearing shoes with heels, but as I’ve aged I find flats more comfortable and more casual…

My mom has a closet filled with shoes but over the past few years she only wore one pair. It was a special pair for seniors, shoes that were comfortable and allowed her to be sturdy on her feet.

I continue to wonder about life, all we have and it’s meaning. I wonder about life’s fleeting moments of importance and our egos. As I wonder about the point of it all…. My 40 plus pairs of shoes in my closet (styles that seem to be a must have just incase) makes me wonder about the day I’m left with that one pair of shoes…

When I was a child we were fitted for one pair of shoes. They were white leather with a sturdy sole (like my moms) from Alters, famous for children’s first shoes. Today children have countless pairs of shoes… I guess nothing stays the same…

My point this morning is… well honestly I am not really sure… Except I guess, what I started off wearing as a little girl, my mom ended up wearing at the end of her life.
One comfortable sturdy pair of shoes!

All those shoes in between were just to get her to those final pair!

It all makes me Wonder…

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Facebook Friends (FBF)

There’s a virtual world of connection…

I find the whole concept of Facebook friends (FBF) very intriguing. I recently ran into several FBF’s in the past month and I really enjoyed meeting them face to face. There’s a wide range of FBF connections…. Some are your BFF’s while others are pretty much strangers. It’s those “strangers” that if it weren’t for FB you would have never connected.

Connection with others is a god given desire for most people. So FB in a strange way allows us to connect with more people than “physically” possible. The FB connections are kept on a very informal level in some ways… Then again, sharing personal pictures and thoughts keeps FBF in a very unusual place of feeling connected to people you really don’t know!

I had a wonderful birthday yesterday and smiled every time a birthday wish came through my FB page… Thank you FBF for taking time out of your day to wish me a Happy Birthday!

For all my FBF I still need to truly connect with, I look forward to “running” into you someday out in the real world… And please, please, please if you recognize me as your FBF please say Hello… It makes my day!

Thanks Lisa and Cheryl for saying hello when I least expected it…. Your warm smiles and sweet hugs were a blessing to me!

Connect with others today, it’s amazing how a smile or a “comment”
can touch a life!

Living life filled with Love, Awe and Wonder…

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I Pulled the Plug!

It’s one thing to hear an expression and another the live it! “Pulling the plug” is one of those expressions you hear, but really don’t give much thought to. Oh course other than, a toaster or an iron which you may need to pull the plug in order to put the appliance away!

Well I lived “pulling the plug” first hand Saturday morning, one hour before the moving truck came to move my parents. All that kept going through my head was, the bride at the altar who just couldn’t go through with it!
I thought to myself if I was about to get married and felt the way I felt all week long I would have to walk away from the altar, no matter what others thought!

I just couldn’t do it… I could not separate my parents after 63 years of marriage! And yes, although they need different care, and I begged the senior living place to please reconsider putting them together they just couldn’t risk it with my moms dementia.

So there I was Saturday morning all set to move them when I realized I just could not go through with the decision. So back to square one with a different perspective. And although this ride will only get more difficult, I was at peace last night knowing my mother and father were together next to each other in the their own bed!

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Change

Making Change…
A dollar broken down,
A life broken up.
Change is inevitable.
Some wanted
Some unwanted…
Change can weigh you down,
Change can add up.
It’s value priceless
Growth from change,
Brings life lessons.
It’s currency endless.
Life is filled with change,
Acceptance of life’s change invaluable,
Today make the right change!

aWeider
Copyright
6.30.14

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