I woke up wondering about death this morning… It’s purpose, meaning and grasp of understanding what it’s all about. Losing a parent brings you to a place of wondering…

As memories flash through my mind and the reality of forever gone comes into play I can’t help but wonder… There’s a void in my mind, a black hole… Empty with no concept of even beginning to process the death of my mother. Reality says… She’s gone, thankfully died peacefully in her sleep. I look at a picture, read an old Christmas card, and I can’t help but wonder how to process life and death.

Daily I move forward at full speed ahead caring for my dad, knowing it will just be a matter of time to process the inevitable…
Embracing every moment with him, thanking God for this time and yet I still wonder…

Life, its meaning, its purpose… Death, its meaning and even its purpose…
We all will experience losses over a lifetime… And then there is the final loss, our own!

I wonder about the sadness in life. Those who are filled with hate, anger, jealousy and rage…
We all certainly feel those emotions on occasion, but for those who live filled with darkness I am saddened for their life. The precious gift we all have been given, the gift of life… We choose how to spend those few precious years here on earth during this lifetime. Somedays are filled with peace and those days when I feel the darkness, I try to step back, breathe and realize the gift that surrounds me… My life!

I have been blessed with incredible Christmas memories left behind by a mother who loved her children… I smile as I write with tears in my eyes knowing there won’t be a traditional “in front of the Christmas tree kiss” this year for my parents… My dad stays stoic with his emotions as the reality of my mothers passing sets in for all of us.

There’s a big world which makes me have big wonders…. Life, death and their purpose…

As the Christmas season is upon us, I am reminded once again of Gods gift, the life and death of his son Jesus. The birth, the life and the death celebrated by believers in the Christian faith…
The ultimate wonderment!

Living life filled with love, awe and wonder….