Love Awe Wonder…

Living Life Filled with Love, Awe and Wonder

Category Archives: life


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2019

Not sure how I got here but the reality is it’s “the future”

Last year when we rang in 2018, I couldn’t help but wonder how close we were to the year 2020. There were years when I was a kid and we would only dream about what the future would look like, the year 2020 was the future. And here we are heading into 2019…

For me it’s bitter sweet, I’m thankful for all my blessings, while missing all my loved ones who are gone. Thankful for all my memories, yet missing all those wonderful times… Thankful for my health, but wondering what the aging process will continue to look like…

A lot of wondering about the future, and that future is my present… 2019, for me sounds scary, a future year in the present… We have seen lots of change over the past 50 years, I guess like all the generations before us.

For me change doesn’t seem to get any easier, aging continues to creep up at a pace I’d prefer not to acknowledge.

Not sure how I got here, especially “into the future” so quickly. If only I could turn back time, and know what I know now… I can’t help but wonder how different life would have been.

The future has arrived, whether I like it or not!


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Enough is Enough! 

I’ve sat back and watched as our country has accepted bullies as role models…  from Comiedians to politicians. It seems to be ok to be a bully these days… which makes me sick. 

We are forced to decided between two presidential canidites, neither of whom can be trusted, and they are our only options… How is that possible? Ones worse than the other… neither will be great! And as a country divided, we have become a joke to the rest of the world… 

It’s not ok to segregate, and yet we have a movement doing just that! The TRUTH is “All lives Matter…” not just one race, because we are all of One race,  The Human Race… when will the insanity stop? 

I’m beginning to bury my head in the sand. I’m so disappointed in mankind right now. Whatever did happen to the “kind” in mankind?  We are at a fork in the road once again. It’s going to take a lot of individual effort to keep the “kind” in mankind… it’s up to each of us as part of the human race to show love, acceptance and Kindness to each other… and it can be done…. Each one of us needs to stop the gossip, judgement, criticizing, belittling spirit that is in our human nature and focus on love and acceptance…

As I read the “tweets” (and I don’t go out of my way to read them, they are all over the social media) I’m reminded of this bullish world we live in and I personally have had enough! I choose Love and acceptance… 

What do you choose?  And when will you have had Enough? 

Enough is Enough! 

Living  life in  love, awe and wonder ❤️


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Love and Acceptance 


I can’t help but wonder about love and acceptance… Two words filled with raw emotions that I believe if truly embraced could change this world…

I’ve had the opportunity to choose both… Love others and accept everyone… There are those who don’t want to be loved and there is nothing you can do to help them accept love them… Loving those who live in a world of “unloveableness” may be difficult at times… It’s then when acceptance of others plays its part! Love and acceptance seems to go hand and hand…

I often wonder about this world and how simple it would be to love and accept each other… A world filled with tolerance… Imagine that! 

I’m not saying we wouldn’t have feelings of discourse or even knowing we all are not going to embrace everyone… But to put our egos aside and to decide to live in a world of acceptance… 

It’s hard to watch all the turmoil swirling around the world today. From politics to gender bathroom decisions, unforginess of others to judging someone who differs from our own belief system… There seems to be so much wasted time and energy! A simple rule to remember: We are all the same…

When I stop and wonder about my own lack of love and acceptance in the past (or fall into its trap now) I’m saddened by all the wasted moments in time that could have been used for good…  

Growing towards love and acceptance is my focus as the years pass on… I pray it’s the focus of many others too…

 Imagine a world filled with love and acceptance… the sky is the limit for total tolerance of each other! 

Living in love,awe and wonder…


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A Different Kind of Beautiful…

 
I heard the words “a different kind of beautiful” last night and for some reason those five words put me in a state of wonder…I couldn’t help but wonder about the beauty that surrounds us and the different perception others see. 

“They say” beauty is in the eye of the beholder…  So true…  Although, beautiful is something we see with our eyes and is recieved by our consciousness, True Beauty lives in our hearts and is embraced by our souls no matter how beautiful someone may think something  is or isn’t…

“A different kind of beautiful”…

Living life filled with Love, awe and wonder ❤️


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How Much is Enough?

How much is enough? A question my dad would ask… He would laugh and say           “how much is enough anyway?” I remember it well, wondering the answer… How much is truly enough? 

Recently “enough” continues to come up. Wondering about myself, and where I am in life, I’ve heard these three little words over and over… “You are enough” 

A conformation of being still and knowing “I am enough” in all areas of my life! There have been doubts and struggles along the way, wondering about personal growth, accomplishments, and my own self image.  The message of “I am enough” has come through loud and clear recently.  A moment of accepting my life, the stage I am in and the season of wonder where life went, has been all too real.  Watching family pass, wondering about the existence of my life’s purpose and realizing the “next generation” is several generations ago… And all while knowing, no matter the wondering,  it’s all been enough! 

Life and its lessons, no matter the challenge, personal growth is its sweetest gift… When in doubt, remember this…    “You are enough!”   

Living life filled with Love, Awe and Wonder…


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On the Other Side…

I talk, you listen.

I cry, you wipe my tears. 

I sit quietly, you hear my every thought.

I wonder, you comfort me. 

I miss you, you miss me too.

I hold onto my memories, you smile. 

I smile back…                                   

I am here, you are there.                  

I feel your presence,          

you know you are loved, 

On the other side…                                               

Aweider 12.18.15

                                                        


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Miracles 

I started wondering about miracles yesterday… This time of year you can’t help but wonder… And certainly miracles are all part of the Christmas Season.

What if we truly embraced everything around us as it is, a miracle. Imagine the awe and gratitude we would feel.

As a simple tear rolled down my cheek yesterday, after a brief moment of missing my father, I looked in the mirror and realized my tear was a miracle. It made me smile. A moment of realiztion of just how miraculous life really is!

Both life and death miracles…       Breathing in and breathing out miracles… Expressing emotions, miracles…                This Christmas Season a miracle…             My life and all my blessings a miracle…

So as you are reading this blog, take a moment and count the miracles in your life today… I’ll bet you will realize everything that surrounds you is a miracle!

Living life filled with Love, Awe and Wonder❤️


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Uncertainties…

“The uncertainties, the ups and downs, the knowledge of the inevitable loss, seeing a beloved father suffer, and the total lack of control make this journey so hard. God won’t give you more than you can handle – lean on Him. Love ya.” 

A  Tex I recieved from a dear friend last night summed up exactly how I’ve been feeling this week… The uncertainties of the inevitable loss and all the ups and downs that come with the emotions that surround this journey is difficult. The reality is this is the fifth time we have been on this similar journey. Hospitals, rehabs, and even hospice all for continued “hope” and yet decline of my dads quality of life… 

Life is a precious gift given to all of us.

My gift… my father who has always been there for me and has loved me unconditionally. A piece of my heart is torn more and more each time as his aging journey continues. 

Today he is moved again to a rehab center, same place, same time of year except without his beloved wife by his side… Which makes me wonder… Does he still have that same desire to live? 

What will tomorrow hold? Uncertainty is inevitable for everyone that’s a given, but the uncertainty of an elderly parent tears at ones heart continually… 

I feel Gods grace and love on this journey with my father.

I AM Forever grateful for their Love❤️

Big George ❤️ Little George   


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Nothing Good…

I try to make an effort to see the good in all situations. But if I’m to be honest, the aging process has pushed me to my limit of seeing the “good” in everything…

 I have found it very difficult to watch my parents age.  It’s been a year since my mother thankfully passed in her sleep (a very “good” thing) and now my dad is back in the hospital. After getting him settled in his new living environment he has had a set back. Like his past setbacks anything is possible. The roller coaster ride of emotions for all, his confusion and the unknown of his condition puts us back to square one. 

I find nothing good about watching my father in this season of life.  Yes, I still have time with him and yes I can visit and see him as often as I’d like… But to watch your hero deteriorate in front of your eyes is so painful. 

I count my blessings everyday and I am so thankful for my years with such an incredible father… I pray Gods grace over him and if I had that one wish it would be to turn back time…

For now, I continue to dig deep for strength knowing what the inevitable future holds… 

He is and will always be the best dad… Love ❤️ you 

 In love, awe and constant wondering…